Redefine Success: How to Find Purpose in Traumatic Times

During these traumatic and uncertain times, it’s easy to feel like a complete and total failure.

Redefining success not only changes your perspective on life, it’s also a way to find purpose again. 

I know what it’s like to feel like you’ve lost everything between one heartbeat and the next.

I also know what it’s like to finally feel like moving forward, only to have your world change a second time in the span of a few months.

By the time COVID hit Canada, I felt like everything that had made me successful in the past had vanished. 

I mean, I had already lost the husband to cancer, was living with my parents, couldn’t function well enough to work, and felt like I had no hope in hell of ever “catching up” again.

I berated myself daily until a few of my very good people pointed out that maybe I should try being kinder to myself.

With nothing left to lose, I gave it a shot.

I slowly came to the realization that taking a shower qualified as a success. Reading a book or going for a walk certainly put a checkmark in the success box. And on the most difficult days? The fact that I opened my eyes that morning because I was oh-so-very alive, most definitely counted as a win. 

It also made me realize that if I didn’t figure out how to redefine success, the weight of my own perception would eventually break me. 

Perception was and had always been, the thing that prevented me from living my best life. 

Success is a Matter of Perception

I’ve heard it said before that failure is a matter of perception. I would say that the same applies to success. 

So when thoughts of failure weigh you down, redefine success in a way that creates purpose and meaning in your life. 

Don’t know where to start? Here’s a little help. 

Success has nothing to do with how much money you make, or how many likes you get on social media. 

You are so much more than a bunch of numbers, the things that fill up a room in your house, or the car that sits in your driveway. 

Don’t look at what other people are doing. And definitely don’t rely on what you think other people think you should have achieved at this point in your life. 

Redefine success in a way that highlights who you are and the things that bring you joy.

These are the things that truly matter. They will help you find purpose again.

Redefine Success to Survive 

The past 12 months haven’t made it easy to redefine success. 

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In the past 5 days alone, Ontario’s had to deal with a government that relies on using “louder, meaner, and again” tactics. 

In short, we’ve entered a third, COVID lockdown without addressing any of the problems that made the first two unsuccessful. 

It’s no wonder that our level of frustration, stress, and fear have reached record heights. 

Personally, it’s made me want to burrow deep under the covers and sleep through the next 28 days. I’m not sure I have the energy to adapt and overcome again. 

And yet, I know that this feeling also means that I’m on the cusp of growth and change. 

As much as I hate it, it’s absolutely unavoidable.

Life is always going to challenge my perception of success. 

At least now I know that fewer book sales don’t mean I’ve failed as an author because I’m happy with the work I’ve produced. 

And I don’t think I’m taking a step back by returning to freelance work. I’m fulfilling my need to at least write something (and we’ve all got to pay the bills). 

There is joy in discovering that I actually do like jogging. I can also keep several plants alive, and while video calls will never be my favorite thing, I really love seeing the people I care about.

COVID or tragedy or heartbreak all force us to reexamine who we are because it messes with our perception of what we’ve achieved.

But we are so much more than our accomplishments.

Starting over isn’t a failure. Losing something isn’t a failure. 

These things don’t define who you are. 

You aren’t a failure.

You’re still here.

You still matter. 

Redefine success to change your perspective on life and you’ll find your purpose again. 

Want more? Check out this post, The Yellow Chair: An Origin Story.

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