3 Powerful Lessons about Control, Writing, and How to Let Go
When life throws something like a pandemic in your face, it’s normal not to notice powerful lessons through the trauma.
Instead, we often end up focusing on the things that make us feel like we’re in control again.
The problem is, trying to control everything only highlights the brain fog, exhaustion, and stress.
Being creative becomes impossible.
If you’re feeling stuck and can’t figure out how to move forward or how to move on, don’t worry.
You’re not alone.
Here are 3 powerful lessons about control, writing, and how to let go.
Lesson 1: The Only Thing You Can Control is How You React.
When I was young, my parents took me to feed squirrels in a local park. From the moment my parents gave me some peanuts, I had the attention of several chipmunks.
I really loved me a chipmunk back then. They made fantastic Rescue Rangers.
But I digress.
I’m not sure when the plan started to formulate in my young mind. The more I thought about it though, the more I knew: I wanted to catch one.
I’d take it home, let it sleep on my pillow, and feed it as many peanuts as it could stuff into its tiny cheeks.
I will tell you that I did manage to catch a chipmunk. I will also tell you that the chipmunk was not at all happy about the situation.
It fought hard for freedom.
At that moment, I had to make a choice: squeeze it to death or let it go.
I let the chipmunk go.
It never came back. In fact, none of the chipmunks came back.
I knew I had ruined something special but couldn’t, for the life of me, understand what had gone wrong.
It never crossed my mind that instead of just sitting back and appreciating the moment, I completely changed the outcome by trying to control it.
I’d like to tell you the lesson stuck, but it’s taken an embarrassingly long time to realize that control is an illusion.
The only thing you have control over in this life is how you react to the situation.
Choose your reaction wisely.
Lesson 2: You Can’t Write Under the Influence of Control
When the lockdowns started, lots of people (myself included) declared they were going to really get creative.
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We had the time! Nothing could stop us! We were going to deliver the best darn *insert writing thing* that the world had ever seen!…
… But that isn’t what happened. (Well. It did for the lovely Taylor Swift, but definitely not for me.)
The brain fog, exhaustion, and stress that come with a pandemic are real. And when the words won’t come, it’s easy to fall into the habit of trying to force something (anything!!) onto the page.
Trying to control the creative process is like trying to catching a chipmunk.
You focus on a terrible idea. You then hammer away at the keyboard, only to realize you’re actually squeezing the life out of the words on the page. At the end of the day, you end up wondering if you’ll write anything remotely publishable ever again.
You can’t write under the influence of control. It doesn’t work.
So, what do you do? How do you start writing again?
The answer’s simple.
You let the writing go.
Lesson 3: Letting Go will Move Your Writing Forward
The only thing you have control over is how you react to a situation. You also can’t write when under the influence of control. As a result, forcing yourself to write or be creative is only going to end one way.
If you’re me, it’s at the bottom of a pint of vanilla ice cream (which definitely has its pros and cons).
Letting go seems counterintuitive, but if you can move past the fear or discomfort, it’s incredibly freeing.
In fact, according to Psychologists, holding onto things can leave you feeling stuck. Letting go instead of holding on, is how you gain control over the situation.
Letting go will move your writing forward. It will move everything in your life, forward.
So if you let go of the idea that you have to be creative during a pandemic, or that you have to be the next Stephen King, you actually give yourself the mental space to achieve those goals.
Sit back. Appreciate the moment. The words will eventually follow.
And if that doesn’t help? Just remember this simple phrase:
Let the chipmunk go.
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If fiction is more your speed, check out Eve’s Return (Book One of the Book of Eve Series). Available on Kindle, and Kobo, this dark fantasy read will have you turning the pages late into the night.